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[action] <3

[sand_lost]

[There's a slight twitch. Naruto understands. There's no doubt of that. He must have wondered at one point as well. Even now, even though he hadn't acknowledged it at the time, he could remember that expression on Naruto's face when they spoke in Lee's hospital room, when he told him that he had a real monster inside of him. He had mistaken it for fear, pure and simple, but now, he wondered how much of that was more understanding than fear now.]

That's not quite true. [He answers softly, because this is one thing they differ on that Gaara is rather pleased with. Even now, he wonders if Naruto's ever taken a life, and even if he has, he can't come close to the amount of blood on Gaara's hands. No, he was a monster inside and out. Whether he could blame it all on his environment, on the things that happened to him, it doesn't change what he's done, what he used to believe. And its so much more evident now, with their similarities, and the fact that Naruto never fell down that same path, was even capable of headbutting Gaara off of it.] But that's alright.

[He knows he's not one now. And that's all that matters, all that can matter right now. And even now, as he looks back on his past, he sees that broken child, he sees that grasp for existence, and maybe his choice had been wrong, but it had given him a reason to live, and for that he can't be sorry. But mostly, when he looks back on his past, he sees Naruto. Because that's the moment it all changed.

And with this knowledge about himself, Naruto's here too. He's accepting, and willing, and wanting. And he's not a monster anymore.

There's a twitch of lips as Naruto rolls his hands through his hair, as he laughs at his joke, as it seems to dispel some bit of nerves.]

Now. [There's a slow nod, a glance around the room. Yes, now sounds good to him. It'll be as easy as tossing the bedspread on the ground. Sheets can be replaced. Maybe they'll just be washed. Blood is nothing new to him, its almost something familiar, a scent every time he uses the sand in his gourd.]

Do you have a blade you'd like to use? [Because Naruto's a ninja, the one that supplied Gaara with weapons on first arrival, and he's sure he has something strapped to his body. If not, Gaara has no problem using one of his own.]

[action]

[nindo]

[ Naruto's mouth thins into a tight, stubborn line. It's not true, Gaara says, but it is true. ] If you were a monster, you wouldn't be here now. [ He wouldn't be Kazekage. He wouldn't have tried a different path. Real monsters don't change. Real monsters probably can't change. They stay the same, they hurt and kill without remorse and don't care enough to ever try any differently. They don't regret, they don't feel grief or true sadness enough to empathize. Real monsters are people like Akabane who would rip you apart and leave you bleeding on the floor, then track you down a few weeks later to repeat the experience.

No. Gaara is not and was never a monster, not to Naruto, not in the true sense of the word. Gaara was just a screwed up kid who tried to carve out his own existence. He wasn't right, he wasn't okay. He was deeply damaged and he wasn't a monster. ] It's not alright. [ Just a mutter, a little mulish to be sure, but beyond that Naruto doesn't push. He doesn't want to get into an argument. It's just distressing to consider that Gaara really did think he was a monster.

So he eases off on the topic. There's another to consider in any case. A little unexpected. He certainly didn't visit for this purpose. He didn't see the conversation turning out this way either, but he's finding that conversations with Gaara rarely have a predictable outcome. And when the Kazekage agrees, Naruto can't hide the brief look of surprise.

Now.

Just like that.

I'll get blood on your floor, he almost says, but maybe Gaara doesn't mind. It must have occurred to him. ] Yeah. [ Even on this visit, he's armed. Ariel's taught him to never leave his apartment without a kunai and Naruto reaches around and pulls one out from where it's been strapped to his lower back. He handles it easily, turning the blade in his palm and offering the grip to Gaara with no hesitation. Then he steals another glance toward the bed and-- ] Gonna get blood on your stuff. [ Because it bears saying in case Gaara does care about stains. ]